As the older sister of a little brother who passed away from SIDS, I can say without hesitation that it was the most devastating experience of my life. My family was forever changed by his death, and the impact of it has stayed with us to this day. 

     At first, we were all in shock. It was as if the world had stopped turning, and we were all frozen in time. The days were a blur of tears and heartache, as we struggled to come to terms with the fact that my baby brother was gone forever. 

     As the reality of the situation set in, my parents were consumed by grief. They struggled to function, to eat, to sleep. Everything was a reminder of who we had lost. As the older sister, I felt like I needed to be strong for them, but that was difficult as I was young myself. I didn't know how to make things better. 

     In the weeks and months that followed, I watched as my parents tried to move forward. But every step they took seemed to be a struggle. They were haunted by questions about what they could have done differently, about why this had happened to our family.
As for me, I was left with a sense of guilt. I had been the older sibling, the one who was supposed to protect him. But I hadn't been able to do anything to save him. I wondered if there was something I could have done differently, if I had only been more attentive, more careful, if things would have turned out differently. 

     But through it all, we tried to support each other. We leaned on our family and friends, and we started to talk about our feelings and our grief. It wasn't easy, but it helped us to start healing, even just a little bit. 

     Years have passed since my brother's death, but the impact of it is still with me. It's a part of who I am, and it's shaped how I view the world. I've become more compassionate, more empathetic, and more aware of the fragility of life. 
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     But most of all, I've learned that there is no right way to grieve. Everyone experiences loss differently, and it's okay to take the time you need to process your feelings. And even though it may feel like the pain will never go away, I've come to understand that it does get easier. Life goes on, even in the wake of tragedy. And somehow, we find a way to keep moving forward, one day at a time.